Growing up in a multiracial family can be confusing, especially if your family history has been kept secret for years. This is the problem for James McBride, whose lifelong struggle with identity prevented him from truly understanding and accepting who he was and where his family came from. The Color of Water describes the life of James McBride, a young African-American Jew who is searching for his identity, and his mother, Ruth McBride, a devout Christian woman who was born and raised Jewish but who refuses to tell him. children about his problematic past. James demonstrates that in order to find one's identity, one must first understand where they come from. Say no to plagiarism. Get a tailor-made essay on "Why Violent Video Games Shouldn't Be Banned"? Get an original essay Raised by his white mother, James often spent much of his childhood feeling confused about his identity due to his mother's secret past. His mother, Ruth, chose to never talk about his childhood or his family, instead focusing on promoting religion, education, and privacy for all of her children. “He insisted on absolute privacy, excellent school grades and did not trust any stranger of either race. We were told never to reveal the details of our home lives to any authority figure: teachers, social workers, policemen, shopkeepers, or even friends” (McBride 27). Ruth's teachings put a strain on James' growth because he was taught to never open up to anyone. Trying to deal with his confusion, James resorts to creating an imaginary version of himself, which he talks to while looking in the mirror. He creates this fictional version of himself because he wants to see what his life would be like if it were simpler. “To further escape the painful reality, I created an imaginary world for myself. I locked myself in the bathroom and spent long hours playing with him. He looked just like me. I stared at him... I turned to leave, but when I turned around he was always there, waiting for me. I had a pain inside, a desire, but I didn't know where it came from or why I had it. The boy in the mirror didn't appear to be in pain. He was free. I hated it” (90-91). James resents “the boy in the mirror” because he wishes he could be like him, free from any worries or confusion. The boy James creates is how James would like his life to be: simple, instead of confusing. During his adolescence, James becomes angry and begins to act out to cope with the pain of not understanding who he is. He chooses to take the wrong path; turning to drugs and alcohol and dropping out of school to the point of deciding to drop out. “Obviously I was hiding, and I was also angry, but I would never admit it to myself. The wonderfully orchestrated chaos that Mother so painstakingly constructed to keep her home running smoothly has collapsed” (140). Ruth finally can't take it anymore and sends him to stay with her sister, Jack, and her husband in Kentucky. To feel accepted by older men, James begins spending his free time at a local gathering place known as "The Corner". Spending time on the corner allowed James to clear his mind of all his problems: “I turned fifteen on the corner but I could act like I was twenty-five and no one cared. I could hide. Nobody knew me. No one knew my past, my white mother, my dead father, nothing. That was great. My problems seemed far, far away” (147). The Corner became the place where James could get away from his identity problem. While he was there, he could feel it.