Catfish and Mandala: A Two Wheeled Voyage Through the Landscape and Memory of Vietnam was an insightful and very well written short story by Vietnamese-American author Andrew “An” X. Pham. His stories consist of first-hand accounts of life in Vietnam as a boy, leaving Vietnam during the fall of Saigon in 1975 with his family as refugees, adapting to American life and culture, and his journey back to his homeland and revisit his family and the places of his childhood. Learn more about the Pham family and An's other extended family, or clan as they say in the book, some came to America and some stayed in Vietnam. His mother, father, brothers and sisters and his relationships with them are important aspects of the story, their early hardships as refugees leaving Vietnam are notable, and in some cases explain fractured family dynamics. As I read this book, I sometimes felt An's memories running all over the place, making connections between his current situations and his past throughout the book. His journey back to Vietnam as a “Viet-Kieu” teaches An a lot about himself, the people he comes from, and the land he comes from. Some of the main themes I learned after reading this book were the sense of An trying to discover his identity, the lasting effects of the Vietnam War on society (those in Vietnam and those in America), and An seeking to understand his overall relationship with his family. Overall, I think Catfish and Mandala offers a great first-hand account, from a very unique perspective of returning to a war-torn country trying to discover its roots. Say no to plagiarism. Get a tailor-made essay on "Why Violent Video Games Shouldn't Be Banned"? Get an Original Essay Identity I found to be a prevalent theme while reading this book. From the beginning An talks about not living up to his father's expectations: “I can't be his Vietnamese American. I see their humiliating humility, the concessions made before the liters are asked for. I hate their slit eyes. The quick gestures of humor, the bobbing of the head, always congenial, eager to please” (Pham 25) It's not that An is embarrassed about his past, but he sees how Asian men are treated in America and doesn't want to conform to one stereotype. He was a straight A student with an engineering degree, but you'd be fooled if you thought we were ever interested in doing that by reading the book. An has been dealing with racism since he was young in the United States being Vietnamese. I think he's surprised at how differently he's treated because he's Viet-Kieu. He immediately experiences firsthand how the Viet-Kiue are treated by those who remained in the homeland of Vietnam after the war. Many people assume he is Korean or Japanese, sometimes he even plays along to avoid conflict, but usually when they find out he is Viet-Kiue they are not impressed or even upset. But not always, the poor Vietnamese who have heard about the American dream regularly ask him for advice on how to become rich like Americans. An writes: “I am perceived as a goldmine of free advice. I'm used to entrepreneurs of all persuasions making fun of me: what the heck, brother, everyone says, spill the beans. Let's get the secret out so we can roll out the dough” (Pham 154). He feels bad for these poor Vietnamese when he sees how little they have. He begins to feel a sense of guilt when he sees beggars who remind him of a childhood friend he never saw again. Even explaining to these people the idea that he is on a cycling holiday in that country makes him feel guilty. He wants to relatewith the people of Vietnam but sometimes he can't because he sees through people's intentions. I feel that as An's journey delves deeper through the book, more and more memories come back to him as he searches for his true identity. The lasting effects of war were also prevalent throughout the book. A family story of adapting to life in the Southern United States and finally California, all the pains his family took to ensure their children had a chance at a normal American life, and the hardships of his family remaining in Vietnam, I they gave the greatest insight into life after the war. war. A quote from his father about survival struck me: “The simplest lesson had always eluded him. A survivor does not have the luxury of counting his blessings.” (Pham 322) This struck me because as I read the stories of those who had made it to America and those who had not made it, I learned that everyone had to make sacrifices. People risked their lives to smuggle their families out of the country and sold everything they had to pay for it. Many ended up abandoning their homes, possessions, and loved ones as they fled communist rule. Those who had been associated with the United States and the Vietnamese Nationalist Army would have had difficulty if they had been captured. His father had spent time in a labor camp that had lasting effects, lasting effects that would rub off on his children. Many of the people An meets along the way are desperate for money to find a way out of Vietnam and are curious about American life. After a few meetings An meets girls who he thinks are genuinely interested in him, but they all turn out to be prostitutes. He states: “Who are these strangers? These Vietnamese, these want-what-they-want people” (Pham 102). You get the feeling that a lot of people want something from An once they realize he's Viet-Kiue. This makes me understand that the reunification of Vietnam by the communists was not an easy transition for the people and not everyone benefited from the newly liberated Vietnam. People who lived in the South and who had actually benefited from working for and with the United States were left high and dry after we withdrew. Without work, people looked for other ways to make ends meet and, as a last resort, became beggars. Many of the people An meets are very poor and earn almost nothing, no matter what work they do. The third theme that struck me the most while reading this novel was the difficulties An had with his family and the relationships they had. The father, the tough and loving, son of a violent aristocrat, the head of the house has never been able to show love to his children in a normal way. He was abusive and held his children to high standards. And the mother, backbone and supporter of the family. Some may argue that she was the head of the family due to her severity and boldness. He has two younger brothers who are gay and are afraid to tell their parents. Kay is the youngest sister and seems to be the most Americanized of the family. Then there is Chi/Mihn, who describes An: “She has become the great shame of the family, as if we had somehow failed, as if we had failed ourselves” (Pham 215). Chi/Mihn was born transsexual and was never an accepted member of the family. An feels great resentment that he didn't try to do something before Chi/Mihn took his own life. I think what is symbolic about this quote and Chi/Mihn's place in the family is that it is something that is seen as "American," the idea that his "Vietnamese" parents wouldn't understand or.