In Søren Kierkegaard's novel, The Deadly Illness, he attempts to reveal and delimit the ideas of spirit, self, and synthesis to clarify how individuals' dialectical manifestations occupy varying degrees of self-consciousness and self-affirmation. Yet, the desperation Kierkegaard writes about existence dialectically; it goes beyond the objective and possession towards a more subjective aspect of individual experience and is put this way: it is not possible to attempt to conceive the part without reference to the whole. Through his writings he seeks to push his readers to see that the highest form of existence is when one can progress beyond and ascend above the lower levels of individuality. So, recognizing the desperation, I write this article as a symptom of my growing awareness of the “deadly disease.” First of all, it is necessary to distinguish two words from their usual use: "despair" and "self". Kierkegaard implements them kinetically, uprooting them from their previously stagnant reality to reflect the movement and commitment they intend to address. Kierkegaard writes that the task of becoming a synthesized self is described as “relations relating to themselves” (Kierkegaard 44). For example, the synthesis that makes A and B a relation does not count unless the relation of A and B is “relating to itself”. To clarify, the initial relationship between A and B is objective as it only has 2 components (A and B). He is in a state of stasis and “Considered in this way, the human being is not yet a self” (Kierkegaard 44). The self is not an objective thing; it is not just the relationship: “the human being is a synthesis of the infinite and the finite, of the temporal and the eternal, of freedom and necessity” (Kierkegaard 43). The... middle of paper... to be taken, is not to exist on the side of the finite, the necessary, or on the side of the infinite, the possibility but to recognize and identify the dialectical synthesis between them and "self" . The synthesis in the dialectic of individual existence is what constitutes the tension, the irony, of the now and/or always. For Kierkegaard, spirit is the flame that brings the body to the boiling point, but the unity and ascension to individuality that brings us out of illness (despair) occurs in the volatility of combination. We must imagine that the fusion between body and spirit is like a substance that never reaches the boiling point but exists as a continuous transformation in which we decompose, combine and exchange with/among ourselves. We exist simultaneously as the substance, its vapor, and the heat that catalyzes the reaction.